President Obama’s Greatest Hits from the White House Correspondents Dinner

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This weekend was the White House Correspondents Dinner of 2013, and President Obama was the hip President with the rapper pals, poking fun at himself and everyone else.

“These days I look in the mirror and I have to admit, I’m not the strapping young Muslim socialist that I used to be . . . .”

“Maureen Dowd said I could solve all my problems if I were just more like Michael Douglas in The American President  . . . [Michael,], could it be that you were an actor in an Aaron Sorkin liberal fantasy . . . ?”

“I know CNN has taken some knocks lately, but the fact is I admire their commitment to cover all sides to the story, just in case one of them happens to be accurate . . . .”

“The History Channel is not here.  I guess they were embarrassed about the whole ‘Obama is a Devil’ thing.  Of course, that never kept Fox News from showing up.  They actually thought the comparison was not fair – to Satan.”

“I recognize that the press and I have different jobs to do.  My job is to be President, your job is to keep me humble.  Frankly I think I’m doing my job better.”

“I know Republicans are still sorting out what happened in 2012.  But one thing they all agree on is they need to do a better job reaching out to minorities.  And look, call me self-centered, but I could think of one minority they could start with.  Hello!”

“Some folks still don’t think I spend enough time with Congress.  Why don’t you get a drink with Mitch McConnell, they ask.  Really?  Why don’t YOU get a drink with Mitch McConnell . . . .”

“I am not giving up.  In fact, I’m taking my ‘charm offensive’ on the road.  A Texas barbecue with Ted Cruz, Kentucky bluegrass concert with Rand Paul, and a book-burning with Michele Bachmann . . . .”

“. . . Take the sequester.  Republicans fell in love with this thing, and now they can’t stop talking about how much they hate it.  It’s like we’re trapped in a Taylor Swift album.”

“I’m also hard at work on plans for the Obama Library, and some have suggested that we put it in my birthplace, but I’d rather keep it in the United States . . . .”

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